The Price of Shame

With each advancement in technology come positive and negative repercussions. Unfortunately with the invention of the internet, and now with social media many people have been sucked onto a whole new level of obsessing with others lives and gossip. What was once private is now open to the entire world. Voyeurism is easy to get sucked into and even worse, now strangers around the world can also make hurtful comments without consequence. We are now faced with a new social problem called cyber bullying.

It first started with the internet, email, chat rooms, and gossip sites, and now has infiltrated into all social media. Virtually everyone has access to quick information, gossip, untruths and can openly make comments and still remain privately protected. In the past when young adults or teens would mess up, as all kids do, that knowledge stayed among a small circle of family and friends in a small community. Now that information can circulate globally overnight and people that don't know or care anything about you can viciously attack you. What would in the past be a few hurtful comments in a small town is now thousands of vicious attacks on young immature youth. It is often more than they can bare, leading to increased suicide rates. The more people shame others, the more desensitized and numb they become. In social media, the more shame a story includes, the more clicks it gets. Every click on social media puts money into advertisers hands. This encourages media to seek after the most embarrassing, shameful “news” that they can find. This viscous cycle is like a sick social disease that needs to be healed.

Compassion can replace shame. In the past hurtful comments that were made had accountability attachment. Comments made to another person, on the radio, tv or newspaper would include the identity of the speaker. If the comments made were out of line, people would correct that person and their hurtful comments. This attached identity would help keep peoples ugly hate comments in check. Now that people can anonymously lash out, there are no repercussions to their wrong behavior. Nothing can squelch out a fire better then love and compassion and empathy. This is how we can cure the disease of cyber bulling. The best way to find your own compassion and empathy, is to dig deep within and find empathy for others. To walk in their shoes. To put yourself in another persons position requires a moment of coming outside of yourself. To come outside yourself, you must abandon your attitudinal responses. One must actual give of their time to hear the other person and learn about their past. We have to imagine ourselves in that position and ask ourselves what we would do and how we would feel. We have to understand that everyone is fighting a battle different than our own. A person is made up of there past and their ancestors past. This history makes us who were are and everyone has a different history. One cannot judged others against how we were made up, and what molded our beliefs. We must conjure up thoughts, knowledge and information to help us feel empathy for those that are different then we are. We must have compassion and understanding for those who we do not understand. This empathy that we assemble from understanding, kills hate. It is easy to hate what we do not know or understand. By understanding others differences we can move past harsh feelings and replace those feelings with love and understanding.

What am I prepared to do to change this? The problem is overwhelming it is hard to imagine that one person can make a difference. A good starting point would be to ask myself that question daily. By simply even being aware, I can open myself up to search for the injustices around us. To ask myself this question often would bring thoughts and ideas into my mind of ways that we can help others. Once we are even more aware of those that are hurt, shamed, or cast out, we can then begin the process of mustering up feelings of compassion within ourselves. If we can even just change the way that we feel within ourselves, that would be a good place to start. I can stand up and speak out for others that feel shamed. A good place to start is with me, I can make a difference.